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An experiment in unartificial intelligence

An experiment in unartificial intelligence

Nine years between the theory and the proof. The browser finally caught up to the idea.

Philosophy
March 2026
10 min read
An experiment in unartificial intelligence
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by Lexy Qulha
← Previous
Teaching a browser to detect walking, running, and driving
A locomotion classifier in 200 lines of JavaScript so a trivia game could tell you to put down your phone.
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One table, seven content types, four languages
The old system stored voice scripts across four tables and eight switch blocks. The new system is one table, two functions, and an INSERT statement.